


no homo in my good chrii2tiian miinecraft SERVER

by My_ChemicalKismesis



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dick Jokes, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minecraft, Minecraft YouTuber AU, Multi, half serious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 05:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16826056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_ChemicalKismesis/pseuds/My_ChemicalKismesis
Summary: Dave, Sollux and Karkat are three Minecraft YouTubers at VidCon and do a live stream. It's nothing but dick jokes.





	no homo in my good chrii2tiian miinecraft SERVER

**Author's Note:**

> turntechGayhead helped me out with some of the jokes at the beginning of the fic!  
> You can find me on Tumblr at my-chemicalkismesis and you can find him at dave-strider-is-a-bi-icon.

After starting the livestream and beginning your video call with Dave and Sollux, who’re in the same room as eachother, you hit create new world and invited Dave and Sollux.  
“Alright shitweasels-” you begin before getting cut off by Dave.  
“Shitmeasels? What does that even mean.”  
“I said shit weasels. Fuck you, you ignorant bulgelicker.”  
“Little forward.”  
“Get a fucking room you two,” Sollux jokes.  
“That’s now what I meant. Fuck you too.”  
“Wow, KK are you sure that ath is ready,” he responds while purposefully stuttering extra on ath. You make a noise of anger before slamming your face onto your keyboard.  
“Damn, is that what you sound like in bed? Hot.”  
The entire chat starts to say things like “Please say no homo.”  
“No homo though, bro,” Dave jokes after reading the chat.  
“You guys couldn’t even be in bed with eachother without me. I’m the only one who could even remotely top.”  
“Bold of you to assume you could top,” Dave quips back.  
“I could top.”  
“No you can’t.”  
“Yes I could.”  
“Prove it.” Sollux gets out of his chair and tackles Dave, both of them disappearing off screen. They both start to make extremely exaggerated moaning noises. The chat starts to blow up. Most of the comments are saying that this is gay.  
“That’s gay,” you comment mostly just so they’d hopefully stop.  
“Oh yeah, I forgot. NO HOMO,” Dave shouts.  
“Dave, is that you?” a voice calls from the other side of the wall of the hotel room that Dave and Sollux share. You have two connected rooms with a door and you have another roommate, one John Egbert. You’re pretty sure that voice is none other than Rose Lalonde. “You’re so gay, dear brother.”  
“It’s not gay if he’s your homie!” Dave shouts back before going back to making the over-exaggerated moans. You just decide to play Minecraft without those two. You open your door and you are faced with a giant dick. No not Strider, a large penis made of clay blocks.  
“Don’t fucking put that dick there,” you say, a bit too loud. Sollux snickers at that.  
“Harder,” Dave jokingly moans. You just break the dick and begin to play the way you would if those two weren’t completely denying their sexualities while being awkwardly homoerotic. They get up after a bit and begin to play Minecraft as well. They continue to make the moaning noises while playing.  
After a while of just building and interacting with viewers. At least, you interact. Dave and Sollux have just been building something, you think together. Dave says some coordinates in chat, telling you to fly to them. You teleport and see you are met with an Applebees. Or Applebee2 as the sign says. You enter and find Dave at a host’s station. He takes you to a seat, handing you a menu in a book. You open it and see every item on the menu is a dick.  
“Strider, I am fucking coming,” you shout, getting up and walking over to the door that divides your hotel rooms and open it.  
“Wow Karks, thats sexy,” Dave snickers.  
“What about me, KK?” Sollux asks, fake sadness in his voice.  
“You can go shove your dick in an electrical socket for all I care.”  
“Bit rude to call me an electrical socket, huh Karks?” Dave asks, giving you an over-exaggerated little frown.  
“You two are the two worst people I’ve ever met.” You turn to return to playing Minecraft but Dave grabs your wrist. He pulls you close to him, pulling you into a kiss. He closes the distance between your lips.  
“No homo.” You shove him away, trying to hide your growing blush. You go to your computer and see you’ve been live for a while.  
“We should wrap up this stream.”  
“Yeah,” Dave agrees.  
“We never fucking said where we are. We’re at fucking VidCon.”  
“Goodbye fuckers,” Sollux says as he enters your room and shuts the stream off.


End file.
